So I just got back to Indy from a great day in Louisville. Met some super cool people down there, got to know some people I already know a little better. All that jazz. We went cliff diving and freaking got ran off by the cops, which was awesome if I may say so myself. They pretended like they were going to arrest us and fine us and when we got back to the cars, which they said they towed mind you, they were standing by our cars like laughing about it. And M down there is so cute, even though I only got to see him for like 5 minutes. But, alas, he has a girlfriend. Even though I totally get mixed signals from him.
And time with D was amazing. He's super sweet, super nice, super hot. All good things. I'm trying. I mean I really am. I should be crazy about him. He's got his stuff together, he's gorgeous, he's going back to school to get his masters (schfancy), and he has such a good heart. I want to be receptive to love and he is so caring. We have hot hot little make out sessions, but I don't know if I can do it, be with someone that much older and mature I mean. He's like super grown up....and I don't quite think I'm there yet. Which brings me to yeah.
So great day, I was supposed to go see N off in Lafayette, but she left early and I'm having a breakdown about that. In addition, I went to a meeting that we were having to start a new meeting in Indy. My friend J has kind of taken initiative there and just got a group of good people together to get it going. He sent out a few facebook messages about it blah blah blah. So wtf, after an amazing weekend, time with D in Lafayette, time in Louisville, all that good stuff, fucking R has decided he's going to join this thing. A of all, he was never invited to come, J just told me he specifically didn't ask him. And I know it's not an exclusive fucking club, but WTF! I quit the other fucking committee because of his stupid ass. And right, like I should be perfect and practice these principles before personalities but he is like the one fucking person in the world that can do this to me. Fuck him. J is my friend before his. R and his stupid ass crew of bromance boys can rule the yp bullshit, but come the fuck on. Please, like give me a break somewhere. When we broke up I lost the majority of my "friends", my ability to go anywhere and feel free, and my place on that fucking cliquish yp committee. Right so can you give me a break fucker??? Like give me one fucking thing that I can do with my friends in the program, a lot of them new, where I don't have to fucking worry about seeing you, and dealing with feeling my heart run over by a train. It has gotten so much better over time, and it only stings a bit now days, but it still fucking stings! And you still can't fucking own up to jack shit. Maybe because your sponsor is your bro...maaaaaan. And you both treat women questionably. And you don't get called out on any of your sick shit. That's the point of a sponsor, not to be your bff. Thanks. Needed to vent there. Just sent him a text asking him not to be on it. It's gonna blow up. Uh-oh. I want him to move away, get out of my life forever please.
